Make It Count
That night I discovered that you can find some of the most stimulating statements on tombstones. Over the years I have collected the most memorable ones. I’d like to share a few of those:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake who stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs
From a 44
No Les
No Moore
She lived with her husband for 50 years. She died with confident hope for a better life.
Harry Edsel Smith: Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
Stranger, tread this ground with gravity
Dentist Brown is filling his last cavity.
Bill Blake was hanged by mistake.
Joseph Yeast: Pardon me for not rising.
I told you I was sick.
An epitaph is powerful because an epitaph summarizes your legacy. It is a snapshot of how you will be remembered. How you are living right now, today, is carving out your legacy.
After you die how will people remember you? As a golfer? As a faithful husband or loving wife? As a good ‘ol neighbor? As a mother of many? As a money man? As a car lover? As a member of your local church?
Out of billions of legacies left by deceased people, there is no greater legacy than this one: He lived for eternity. She lived for eternity. Mark Cahill put it this way,
Three-hundred-million years from now, what will be the only thing that will matter? Will it matter how much money you made? Will it matter what kind of car you drove? Will it matter who won the NCAA football and basketball titles this year? Will it matter who you took to the homecoming dance?
Three hundred million years from now, the only thing that will matter is whether you're in Heaven or in Hell. And if that is the only thing that will matter then, that should be one of our greatest concerns now. The real question then is: What are you doing of significance today that will matter three-hundred-million-plus years from now?1
Abraham Lincoln said, “In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”
But how can you live a legacy that matters for eternity? How can you live your life today in such a way that you will not be ashamed on your deathbed? The Bible readily and clearly answers that question, but I’d like to find the answer in a place you probably wouldn’t expect: 2 Chronicles 21.
In this chapter we encounter the life of a bad boy, Mr. Jehoram. Up to his time, every Judean king demonstrated at least a pinch of holiness in his reign. But King Jehoram did not even come close. He was the epitome of wickedness. But this is good, for his life delivers us a deadly example of what not to do.
It all begins when Jehoram blades to death his own six brothers along with several rulers to secure his position as king (21:4). Do you have siblings? What would it take for you to kill your own brothers and sisters even if they did nothing to anger you? It’s almost unbelievable. How wicked must a man become to murder his family just to make sure the kingdom is his? Jehoram is almost a prototype of Herod the Tetrarch. It was said of Herod that it’d be safer to be his pig than his family member. It seems the same was true for Jehoram!
You can always spot an insecure man—the man who puts down others or even hurts them when they pose a threat to his position. Jehoram loved his position more than his God. People were mere chess pieces to be positioned or exterminated so they would become stepping stones to his own exaltation.
We have to ask: What in the world can I learn from a man this wicked? A lot!
Even though Jehoram was a spiritual dirt bag, I praise God that he lived, for from his life we find three lessons for living a legacy that counts for eternity.
Lesson #1: Pick your company wisely (vs 6).
“He walked in the way of the kings of Israel, just as the house of Ahab did (for Ahab’s daughter was his wife), and he did evil in the sight of the LORD” (2 Chron 21:6). That little parenthetical statement, “for Ahab’s daughter was his wife,” is not parenthetical in significance. Like a dime to a nickel, do not let its size deceive you. Jehoram picked dangerously bad company; and the most influential kind: a wife.
This woman’s name was Athaliah [pronounced: ath uh LIGH uh]. And she was no sunflower. She was the woman who would later murder all of the royal offspring so that no one could challenge her reach for the throne (2 Chon 22:10-12). Jehoram married a spiritual witch.
Why is it so important to pick good friends? Because friends influence. Think of the hundreds—maybe thousands—of people in your span of life whose influence has impacted not only how you live but who you are today.
Pick good friends. Whether it be wife or husband, ministry buddy or neighbor, pick good friends. Solomon writes, “A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov 18:24).
Do you know who the best kind of friend is? The one who is not afraid to rebuke you if you sin, nor fails to encourage you when you do what’s right. Again Solomon writes, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy” (Prov 27:6). Don’t pick flatterers, pick people who will love you and speak the truth.
The true friend is the one who weeps when you suffer, rejoices when you excel, and one to whom you can tell even the darkest secrets without fear of his or her reaction. More than anything else the true friend is the one who prods you closer to the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I am sure you have friends. But are they more than social crutches? More than loose acquaintances? Is there someone in your life whom you can go to if you need help? Whom you can confess to if you fall? Whom you know will pray for you when life turns into thorns and thistles?
John MacArthur said, “When you become saved, it is not just a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, it becomes a corporate relationship with Christ. You not only become one with Christ but you become one with every other believer.”2
Years ago I did a lot of camping and backpacking. On very cold nights we’d build a fire and sit around and talk. When someone tossed a big log into the flames, sometimes an ember would come flying out and hit the ground a few feet away. And it would glow and burn…for a while. But slowly the glow faded until the red disappeared and a line of smoke rose from the dead ember. Why did it die? Because it was all by itself.
Wolves always hunt in packs. For this reason, the lone wolf is the dead wolf. The lone ranger will be the dead ranger. And the lone Christian is the Christian who will fall if he doesn’t get help from others. John Wesley wisely said, “The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion.”
We resist getting close to people because the closer we are the more they can see. And the more they can see the less perfect we become in their eyes. It’s pure pride that holds us back. We don’t like being exposed, we want to keep people at a distance so that they will only see the impression we want them to see.
But just as you can’t make omelets without breaking eggs you cannot enjoy that close and rich fellowship until you are willing to shatter your bubble of protection.
You and I stand naked before God. He knows you better than you know yourself, and if you are not ashamed before Him, how much less should you be before others.
Once a week at 6am I meet with a brother for 1-2 hours for a single purpose: to prod each other to Christ. And I admit, it’s not always easy. As a pastor, people expect you to be the example of godliness. Everyone watches you, and the slightest hint of imperfection or sin can spark a fuse that explodes into gossip or division.
This makes it very hard for pastors to be open with others. He’s afraid to reveal his struggles because people expect him to be godly and he doesn’t want to break that trust. And though no man should be a pastor unless he meets the irreproachable qualifications of 1 Timothy 3, I am convinced that the credit for the moral failure of many pastors goes to the isolation of pastors from any close and open relationships with other men whom he could pray and share with.
For this reason it is quite tempting for a pastor to hide his struggles behind his title and never address his sin head on. The nature of his position makes it very difficult for a pastor to be transparent. So when I meet with this brother, I take off my pastors’ cloak and he takes off his ministry cloak, and we speak man to man. We ask each other the hard questions. We share our hardest struggles and most joyful victories. If all of life is an appetizer then those mornings are my feast!
Hundreds of years ago Thomas Watson wrote, “Walk with them that are holy…Nothing has a greater power and energy to effect holiness than the communion of saints.”3 Jehoram surrounded himself with godless people. And that was his first mortal mistake.
So now that Jehoram has murdered his brothers it’s all over for Jehoram, right? And the Lord sent a firing thunderstorm and “bam!” he was gone. Right? Nu uh. Look at verse seven:
“Yet the Lord was not willing to destroy the house of David because of the covenant which He had made with David, and since He had promised to give a lamp to him and his sons forever” (2 Chon 21:7). Here we witness the incredible faithfulness of God. Even though Jehoram is the great, great, great, great grandson of King David—his quadruple grandson—even though he is five generations removed from David, God still allows the lamp of David to burn because God promised He would!. It may be a low burn, a flickering flame easy to miss, but it still burns!
Out of the 20 kings of the southern kingdom of Judah do you know how many were completely given over to godliness? Five. Just five. Of the 19 kings of the northern kingdom of Israel, how many were godly? Zero. And yet God still loved Israel like you would love your own child!
Lesson #2: Obey God’s Word cheerfully (vss 12-15).
Jehoram’s sin grew so monstrous that Elijah the prophet sent him a letter of severe condemnation. It went like this,
Thus says the Lord God of your father David, “Because you have not walked in the ways of Jehoshaphat your father and the ways of Asa king of Judah, but have walked in the way of the kings of Israel, and have caused Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem to play the harlot as the house of Ahab played the harlot, and you have also killed your brothers, your own family, who were better than you, behold, the Lord is going to strike your people, your sons, your wives and all your possessions with a great calamity; and you will suffer severe sickness, a disease of your bowels, until your bowels come out because of the sickness, day by day” (2 Chron 21:12-15).
This letter is not your regular mailbox postcard. It’s a letter from Elijah, the man of God, the man who performed miracles that stunned thousands. I don’t know about you, but if I received a letter like this, it’d ruin my day. I’d be on my face. I’d be terrified. I’d beg God for mercy and plead for grace. Jehoram could have done this and I think we both know what Go would have done. It’s the nature of God to forgive those who humble themselves. But Jehoram probably couldn’t define humility if he tried. He probably tossed the letter into the fire and went on with his sinful indulgences.
One day a woman attended a Scottish church and enjoyed it thoroughly.
“Who is that preacher?” she asked.
“Why, it’s Mr. Ebenezer Erskine,” came the reply. When next Sunday arrived, the woman was off to hear Mr. Ebenezer Erskine.
But the service was dull and drab and she did not enjoy it at all. After the service ended the woman walked up to Mr. Erskine and said,
“I don’t know why, but last week I loved hearing your message. But today I received no blessing at all.
And in great wisdom, Mr. Erskine responded, “Ah! Madam, the first Sabbath you came to meet the Lord Jesus Christ, and you had a blessing; but the second Sabbath you came to hear Ebenezer Erskine, and you had no blessing and you had no right to expect any.”4
If you attend church to hear your favorite preacher, do not expect any blessing. If you show up for Bible study to listen to your favorite Bible teacher do not expect any blessing. We teachers are just vessels in which is hidden the precious treasure of God’s Word (2 Cor 4:7). We come to church, to Bible studies, to Sunday school to hear the Word of Christ.
There is a third lesson for living a legacy that counts for eternity…
Lesson #3: Receive God’s discipline humbly.
God brought three tools of discipline into Jehoram’s life, three opportunities to repent of his wickedness and seek the Lord.
First, God brought the discipline of war. Verse 10 tells us, “Then Libnah revolted at the same time against his rule, because he had forsaken the Lord God of his fathers.” Because Jehoram mercilessly slaughtered his own brothers and married a wicked woman, God brings judgment upon his head. And what does he do? Nothing! The text tells us nothing about repentance, brokenness, godly sorrow…because there wasn’t any. Well, maybe he’ll succeed next time…
Secondly, God brought the discipline of bereavement:
Then the Lord stirred up against Jehoram the spirit of the Philistines and the Arabs who bordered the Ethiopians; and they came against Judah and invaded it, and carried away all the possessions found in the king’s house together with his sons and his wives, so that no son was left to him except Jehoahaz, the youngest of his sons” (2 Chron 21:16-17).
The man who murders his father’s sons, is now bereaved of all his sons but one. His wives, his possessions, his boys, everything dear to him is plundered. Imagine your car, furniture, stereo, house, children and spouse all being ripped from your hands in one day. You’d think that’d bring him to repentance, right? No. He still does nothing!
First God assaulted his army, but he didn’t repent. Then God took his possessions and wives. Still he did not repent. So now, God moves close to home and touches Jehoram’s own body:
“So after all this the Lord smote him in his bowels with an incurable sickness. Now it came about in the course of time, at the end of two years, that his bowels came out because of his sickness and he died in great pain” (vss 18-19a). Notice the text says, “So after all this.” After all this trouble God brought into his life, after attacks upon his army and bereavement of his own family, you’d think he’d repent. But he doesn’t. And for this reason God now touches Jehoram’s body with a disease so cruel that his own intestines squeeze out of his body and he dies in bitter pain.
Doctors confess that one of the most painful types of diseases their patients suffer are those which affect their bowels. Just the stomach flu alone can lay you out flat. But this is slightly more intense than a stomach flu. It lasts for two years and in the end kills him. The pain must have been unbelievable.
When God disciplines you how do you respond? Do you complain about it? Do you fight against it? Or do you humbly turn from your sin and seek His gracious forgiveness?
When our son Elijah turned three, Kimberly and I met with a child development expert to diagnose his trouble putting together sentences with more than four to five words.
The child speech therapist told an interesting story. People have discovered twelve year old children living all by themselves since they were toddlers, with no adults around. That means that for twelve years these children didn’t hear a single word from a human being. And because their minds had moved beyond the language learning stage, no matter how hard language experts tried to teach them, they remained unable to speak for the rest of their lives.
And the same can happen to repentance. Now is the perfect time to repent. Now is the day of mercy. Wait too long and you may move beyond that point of mercy and find your heart so hardened in sin that the hardest hammer could never break your heart nor the hottest flame could ever melt it. This is a deadly place to be, for Hebrew 6 depicts the person who has grown so cold and hard in his attitude toward sin that “it is impossible to renew [him] again to repentance” (Heb 6:6).
Learn to repent immediately and God’s grace will be infinitely poured on you! Thomas Watson wrote, “A broken heart and a broken Christ do well agree. The more bitterness we taste in sin, the more sweetness we shall taste in Christ.”5
Repentance does not simply mean emotional sorrow.
Esau wept. But today he is in hell.
Saul wept. But today he is in hell.
These men did not weep tears of genuine repentance but of selfish regret that they now must suffer the consequences of their foolish decisions.
When you sin against God, is your sorrow genuine and real? Thomas Watson said it well,
Sorrow is good for nothing but sin. If you shed tears for outward losses, it will not advantage you. Water for the garden, if poured in the sink, does no good. Powder for the eye, if applied to the arm, is of no benefit…Oh that our tears may run in the right channel and our hearts burst with sorrow for sin.6
Jehoram had three big chances and he failed them all. He chose evil company, ignored God’s Word, and flouted God’s discipline. And it left him quite a legacy. Verse 20 says, “He was thirty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem eight years; and he departed with no one’s regret, and they buried him in the city of David, but not in the tombs of the kings” (2 Chron 21:20).
What an epitaph. Imagine, you’re wandering through a cemetery and you come upon a tombstone. And written across in deeply engraved letters it says, “With no one’s regret.”
At home few things get my kids more excited than sledding. One of them is bubbles. The entertainment that a little dish soap and air can put into a child amazes me! In the summertime we sit on our front porch and blow one after the next.
The kids take great delight in each bubble. But there is just one problem: when the bubble pops, it’s over. It’s gone forever. When compared to eternity, your life on this earth is like that bubble. Because once it’s over you cannot relive it.
What are you doing with your little bubble called ‘life’? Are you making it count? “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Cor 10:31). From the most mundane to the most grand and huge—God wants all that you do to be done for Him!
In every Judean king up to Jehoram the Scriptures divulge at least a faint beam of goodness. At least a sliver of holiness. Solomon. Rehoboam. Abijah. Asa. Jehoshaphat. All of them demonstrated at least a drop of godliness, no matter how faint. But in Jehoram we see nothing but deadness. He is the first Judean king to be wicked to the bone. No wonder he didn’t get the honor of a grave in the tombs of the kings (vs 20).
And here is the sad part: there was still hope for Jehoram before he died.
When God warned Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat repented and God relented (2 Chon 19:12-4). When God warned the Ninevites, the Ninevites repented and God relented (Jonah 3).
God is so merciful, that even after judgment has been announced He is still willing to turn from His intended punishment if the man or woman will humble himself.
An Epitaph For Eternity
On the night I lead those students through that field of graveyards, the gray moonlight beamed just strong enough to reveal an epitaph I will never forget:
"I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies.”
Fellow Christian, do you believe this? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the resurrection, and the life? Perhaps you find your legacy shattered and torn. Plastered with sin and crushed with guilt.
I want you to know there is hope for you. There is hope.
All you have to do is turn to Jesus Christ and He will forgive you. He will accept you. He will cleanse you. And He will enable you to live a legacy that counts for eternity!
Endnotes
1. Mark Cahill, One Thing You Can't Do in Heaven (Rockwall: Biblical Discipleship Publishers, 2005), 11.
2. From a preached message at 2002 Shepherd’s Conference.
3. Thomas Watson, Body of Divinity (Carlisle: Banner of Truth, 1993), 87.
4. Charles Spurgeon, Lectures to my Students (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979), 405.
5. Thomas Watson, The Doctrine of Repentance (Carlisle: Banner of Truth, 1999), 27.
6. Ibid., p. 63.